Surrogate FAQs Answered
Questions and answers from real surrogates
Surrogacy is a process where a woman carries and delivers another person or couple’s child. This pregnancy happens through in vitro fertilization (IVF), which means this woman does not have any biological connection to the baby.
The surrogate is the ‘gestational carrier;’ this means she is providing the womb to carry the embryo for the Intended Parents (IP’s).
In surrogacy, there are Intended Parents, agencies, and surrogates.
The Intended Parents (IP’s) are the individuals looking to build their family or bring a baby into the world. The agencies work directly with the IP’s, helping them find the right surrogate candidates, coordinating with attorneys, helping with logistics (insurance, psychologists, contracts, etc.) and supporting them in the decision-making process. This way the IP’s can focus on developing a relationship with the surrogate! And the surrogates are the incredible mamas who help make it all happen!
Yes, but more. First & foremost, we’re Surrogate Advocates who support amazing moms in their surrogacy journeys. That’s how we started in 2020… solely working with surrogates. We’ve been helping amazing moms choose from vetted, ethical surrogacy agencies who are motivated to do their best work for our candidates.
We’ve taken all that experience and created what we like to think is the ideal agency not just for the amazing moms who choose to be surrogates, but also the hopeful parents-to-be who are putting their all into the mission to bring home their bundle of joy.
Throughout our first 3 years solely working w/ surrogates as advocates, we’ve realized something: There aren’t as many agencies who truly advocate for parents and surrogates as we’d like… believe us… we’ve searched.
So we decided to start an agency of our own.
There’s no one perfect agency, but we’re dedicated to becoming yours.
We offer a quick (free!) quiz to help you see if you’d be a good candidate for surrogacy. Click here to take it now!
There are several requirements for surrogates (in order to protect the health of both the surrogate and the baby). You can find them on our requirements page.
Here are a few:
– having at least one successful, full-term pregnancy
– being within a recommended age range
– having a ‘healthy’ BMI
– free of tobacco and recreational drugs
– having a strong support system
To be honest, some of these requirements can be confusing (or, frankly, feel a bit limiting). So, once you take the quiz, if you have questions, feel free to reach out to us! We’d be happy to explain, provide clarity on your qualifications, or work with you on the next steps in your journey.
We put ‘healthy’ in quotes for a reason—because what’s considered ‘healthy’ is so different for each person! And, depending on a myriad of other factors, you may not need to fall exactly within this range.
However, a BMI between 18-32 is recommended because this is what is considered medically healthy for a surrogate undergoing IVF and other treatments along the journey.
A BMI that falls under the range may be too low for a safe pregnancy and delivery. It may also point to underlying health conditions for the surrogate. A higher BMI can impact the effectiveness of the IVF treatment, how your body responds to the medication, and ovarian function in general. A higher BMI can also lead to pregnancy and birth complications, too, which is why this requirement is set–not only for surrogates but at all fertility clinics.
In short, the BMI range is all about ensuring the healthiest pregnancy possible.
First of all congratulations! Only 4 out of 10 women who take the quiz meet all of the requirements, so it’s super rare to have both the heart and the health history to qualify as a surrogate!
The next step after passing our 8-minute quiz is to schedule a Q&A with one of our awesome surrogate advocates. They’re experienced surrogates, too! They’ll walk you through the whole process, help to build your profile, determine your ideal compensation, and match you with the best agency out there specifically to match your unique wants, needs, and personality.Yes! You can become a surrogate if you’ve had tubal ligation.
Tubal ligation is a surgery that involves cutting and tying the fallopian tubes (which prevents an egg from entering the uterus or sperm from passing from the tube to the egg).
In surrogacy, pregnancy happens through IVF—where the fertilized egg/embryo is transferred directly to the uterus—which doesn’t involve the tubes at all! So, in short, you can still bring your IP’s baby into the world even after tubal ligation.
Typical compensation packages for surrogacy consist of a base compensation ranging from $45,000 – $75,000, based on several factors plus additional payments for milestones leading up to and throughout the pregnancy, such as medication start, embryo transfer, maternity clothing at second trimester, and more.
All expenses are paid for the surrogate to meet with the parents’ IVF doctor for an in-person medical evaluation. If travel is required, those expenses are paid for as well as a per diem for meals and expenses.
Compensation and Benefit Packages typically start once legal contracts are signed and a trust account is fully funded with the entire surrogate compensation and expenses.
Surrogates receive their base compensation in monthly installments throughout the pregnancy.
Read more about surrogacy compensation: https://surrogacy.is/compensation/
No, your eggs won’t be used in the surrogacy process.
There are two types of surrogacy—traditional and gestational—and with gestational surrogacy (the type of surrogacy we focus on!), the IP’s eggs and sperm will be used.
So, in short, the surrogate will not be biologically related to the baby at all.
Although it might seem strange that your significant other needs a background check, this is a requirement in place to protect all aspects and all individuals in the surrogacy journey.
A background check (both for the surrogate and her spouse) helps to ensure the safety of the environment for surrogate and baby during pregnancy and birth.
(Don’t worry, the Intended parents undergo a background check too!)Yes, you can’t have more than 2 C-sections (or 3 with a clearance letter from your OB) or more than 6 live births.
Typically, 21-40. We’ve had cases up to 45 get approved by an IVF clinic, but it’s rare.
Every prospective surrogate must be at least 21 years old before she can be approved for surrogacy. This minimum age requirement is set by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, based on what experts have identified as the best indicators of success for a gestational carrier.
But most importantly age restrictions exist only to protect the surrogate and the baby’s health and give the best chance for successful outcomes!For us to help you become a surrogate, you need to be a U.S. citizen or U.S. permanent resident.
Yes! You absolutely can be a single mom and a surrogate. You just need to make sure you have a good support system. You might need emotional support or potentially someone to be with your kids while you are attending appointments or delivering your intended parents’ magical, miracle baby.
No. All medical expenses are covered by insurance or the intended parents/agency. All expenses are paid for the surrogate to meet with the parents’ IVF doctor for an in-person medical evaluation. If travel is required, those expenses are paid for as well as a per diem for meals and expenses.
Also, before surrogate pregnancy, typical benefits & compensation can include:
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Monthly non-accountable allowance starting at $250+ per month throughout the journey
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Mock Cycle Fee starting at $500+
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Medication Start Fee starting at $500+
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Signing and other bonuses starting at $1000+
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Embryo Transfer Fee starting at $1000+
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Health Insurance Monthly Premium (actual cost)
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Legal Counsel (actual cost)
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Parents that have decided to choose surrogacy have already been through a lot! The couples that I carried for had already fallen in love with the EMBRYOS before they transferred them to my uterus. They knew the sex of the future baby, and that they had all the normal chromosomes they should have. They knew for a decade before trying surrogacy that they would find a way to bring those embryos to life. And that’s the story of a lot of those couples. They have invested so much time, hope, tears, and resources to make it possible for their children to be born. They will never change their mind about it! But if they did (which they won’t!) there are fully enforceable legal contracts in place, as well as a fully funded trust account that has your entire compensation and medical expenses in it before you even begin IVF medications. The legal contract even has provisions in place for a next of kin, should anything happen to the parents before the baby is born, so there is someone ready and able to take them home and love them when they are born. When you get to the matching stage and hear the parent’s stories, you will see. Intended parents love their children just as much as we love our own.
A gestational surrogate becomes pregnant via IVF. The embryo is created in a lab, where the intended mother or donor egg is fertilized with the intended father or donor’s sperm. The embryo is then implanted into the surrogate’s uterus. With this method, the surrogate is not related to the baby. The majority of surrogacy arrangements are gestational these days.
At first glance, it would seem obvious that a surrogate would get attached to the child, right?!
But as a surrogate, you go into the process with eyes wide open to the fact that the child you are caring for is not your own.There is not that sense of yearning you have when you’re carrying your own child, wondering if it will have your eyes or your husband’s nose. You are not choosing the baby’s name. You’re not imagining all of the big moments the way you do with your own sweet babies!
You go into the pregnancy in a very non-romantic, science-based way, and you know that this kid’s parents loved her before she was ever conceived, and fought so hard to make her life a reality.
In fact, you probably will feel more attached to the intended parents, and not the baby.
Nope! We partner with agencies all over the US, who work with surrogates, intended parents, and hospitals all over the US.
If you prefer a local match or less travel, we will help you find agency options that meet your needs, but geography won’t hurt your ability to become a surrogate.Once we review your agency options with you and you choose your ideal agency, you’ll complete their intake process until you’re cleared to match. There are a lot more intended parents than surrogates, so matching is usually fairly quick for surrogates. From the time you complete the intake process to match, it takes about 30 days on average.
While there are very few companies who call themselves surrogate advocates, we’re definitely not all the same. For example, Surrogacy Is…❤️ is founded and privately owned by experienced surrogates whose singular focus is to advocate for other women entering this process, in the way we wish we’d had when we were starting out.
At Surrogacy is… being a surrogate advocate is not a “gimmick” or a sales pitch. It is in the DNA of each member of our organization, and our sole purpose for existing.
While there are others out there who call themselves “surrogate advocates” most are owned or funded by agencies whose interest is to recruit surrogates into their program, whether or not it’s the right and best fit for each surrogate.
But wait, didn’t I hear you say that you’re an agency, too?
We’re a surrogate advocate group who created an agency to provide more choice to our surrogates. That’s very different than an agency who creates a “surrogate advocate” group to refer people to their agency.
Here’s a Sneak Peek of What’s Inside
Have a deeper understanding of surrogacy and become physically and emotionally prepared for a wonderful journey.
Learn about the process, requirements, compensation, the legal side of things, and what to expect during and after your journey.
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Become more confident and feel empowered about your decisions when it comes to surrogacy.
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Never feel lost or unsure about the journey— the guide has all the answers.
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